new jeans

My jeans rock, especially since they're these \$10 jeans that I can beat the living shit out of and kick ass in. And they look badass on me, too, because they make my ass look hot. Which is no easy feat, but they do. I want my own ass at this point. It really looks that hot. If I saw my ass in these jeans, walking down the street, I'd be like "DAMN BITCH, THAT IS SOME FINE ASS YOU'VE GOT" and then when I turned around I'd smack myself in the face and say "What the fuck did you just say, bitch?" And then I'd kick my own ass all over the place, Tyler Durden style.