c133.org/blog : personal
Tue, 23 Jan 2007
.: they're gonna hunt me? for sport? ::

Can't really think of anything funny or clever to say about this; I had surgery for my hernia today, and it went well, I suppose. I survived, and now I have a surprisingly large incision which has been covered in superglue. It's going to form a bad-ass scar.

My surgeon prescribed vicodin and ibuprofen. I'm not entirely sure that either of those is helping me at all.

I was told before I went under the knife that the vicodin they were giving me was basically diazepam, which made me think of Metal Gear Solid, and I was happy. Visions of long, drawn-out boss fights with Sniper Wolf danced through my head. Unfortunately, it turns out that the nurse lied to me, and vicodin is not in fact diazepam.

Incidentally, I had my prescriptions filled at Target, because of their totally sweet ClearRx bottles. If you haven't heard of them, you should check out the story about why they're awesome.

Anyway. I'm alive, and that's something.

[06:44] | [] | # | G
Wed, 27 Dec 2006
.: alvis will smoke those bitches ::

Christmas is always an interesting time of year.

Three years ago I had the single worst Christmas ever. The ones since then haven't been so hot either, until now. This year's Christmas is officially the best one I've ever had.

The reason?

I have finally gotten rid of a car that I hated and I now am the proud owner of a brand-new 2007 Toyota Corolla. It's got a five-speed manual transmission, and it's totally freakin' sweet.

I'm really excited about getting more than twenty miles per gallon on road trips. I'm hella stoked about having a manual transmission again. But most of all, I'm just happy to finally move past the stage of my life where I was constantly pissed at myself for being so stupid as to get stuck with the previous car.

Anyway. I'm back in Arizona for the holidays, and things are pretty fucking great right now. For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to the road trip back home in my car.

On a slightly-less-awesome newsfront... I get to have surgery next month.

Some of you may know that when I was a teenager, I had a hernia. It wasn't really anything terribly awful, just a typical hernia; they operated on me when I was nineteen and fixed it up, and everything was great until a couple of months ago. I noticed some similar symptoms to my original hernia, and I finally got off my ass and went to the doctor a few weeks ago. She confirmed it - I am officially on my second hernia. I'm not even twenty-five yet.

However, having a car with a real transmission has made me so happy that I'm not even really that upset about the prospect of being cut open and having somebody mess around with my internal organs. It's going to suck, sure. But I made it through it last time; I've got a feeling that I'll be able to survive this time.

[09:09] | [] | # | G
Tue, 21 Nov 2006
.: it's time for the "I Hate Marco Show!" ::

So it's been playing for a few weeks now, and I just felt that it needed to be shared with everyone who reads this blog:


I don't really know exactly how to put it into words, but there is something that is sick, and twisted, and oh-so-right about this show that makes me laugh. The writing, as aseigo noted is amazing, and the plot throughout Season One so far has been gripping.

If you have a weak stomach, you might not like it. It's definitely not a show for the young ones, either - strong language, some nudity, lots of very graphic scenes. The really amusing thing to me, at least, is that the really graphic scenes are not even of violent acts; whoever is handling the visuals for the show is an absolute genius. Simple acts like tying shoes and pulling on a T-shirt somehow take on a much more sinister undertone.

I highly recommend checking this show out. It is, by far, my favorite new show this season, so far even moreso than Heroes. Heroes keeps leading me along and throwing me a bone every now and then, but Dexter has been delivering since Episode One and I haven't been disappointed yet.

[05:26] | [] | # | G
Fri, 19 May 2006
.: it gets all jiggly ::

I learned something interesting a few weeks ago and it just popped back into my mind so I decided to record it for my adoring fans.

Second-hand smoke really fucks with me. Savanah introduced me to a friend and we spent a few hours at said friend's apartment; they both did some pretty impressive chimney impersonations and I ended up feeling sick for days. My throat felt like it was on fire, and I kept coughing up chunks of ... I don't even know what. Maybe lung. My nose wouldn't stop running and I was constantly sneezing.

I'm not sure exactly how much later - maybe a week or so - I was at Cliff's place and we were hanging out. I lamented the effects that the second-hand smoke had on my throat, and Cliff empathized with me; apparently I'm not the only one that second-hand smoke fucks with.

However, Cliff's throat was not ravaged and he was in fact feeling fine, so he jokingly suggested that we smoke some hookah. (For those of you playing along at home, no, I'm not using code-words for drugs. We smoke hookahs, not bongs, and we smoke tobacco out of them.) I figured, at this point, what the hell could it hurt? Cliff prepared the hookah and I continued coughing up internal organs.

Soon, the hookah was ready to go - those things take like ten minutes or so to get ready if you're fast, and longer if you're not - and we started smoking. Almost immediately, I noticed something very strange - my nose stopped running.

I was intrigued.

Several minutes later, I noticed that I had also not been coughing. My nose was still not running, and I was even able to breathe out of both nostrils. You might think that's a funny thing to notice, but trust me, you don't miss it until you can't do it anymore.

Hours later, I was still feeling worlds better. I'm not sure what the logical explanation here is, but first-hand smoke fixed every symptom introduced by my overexposure to the second-hand variety. This perplexes me, but I do not question feeling well; I just enjoy it.

[04:21] | [] | # | G
Wed, 12 Apr 2006
.: tacos are not worth endangering the mission ::

Took a road trip to Arizona this past weekend. It's a pretty hefty drive from Palo Alto to Phoenix and back; roughly ten or eleven hours each way. I got to spend time with Savanah, though, so as far as I'm concerned it was worth it. Her brother kicked my ass at Halo 2, but that isn't very surprising since I suck at Halo and its ilk.

I decided that I'm not going to Norway. As much as I would have loved to go, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't really work out at this point.

I informed Trolltech of my decision last week and when I showed up at work on Monday, I was in turn informed that since I'm not going to Norway, there's not really any reason for me to stick around in the Palo Alto office; end result, I no longer work for Trolltech.

This is kind of cool, actually; it gives me a couple of weeks of free time with money to relax, and as tired as I still am from the road trip, I think I might go back to Arizona again. I might even tell some other people that I'm there this time. I have to be back in time to move into my new apartment though. Since I don't work at Trolltech, I also don't get to live in the Trolltech-sponsored housing; I'm crashing at my friend Cliff's place currently, and I don't move into my own place until next week.

At least I can't complain that my life is boring.

[03:43] | [] | # | G
Sun, 19 Mar 2006
.: dear diary ::


My girlfriend knows the cheat codes to the GTA games, by heart.

Sorry, just had to brag about that.

[00:40] | [] | # | G
Tue, 14 Mar 2006
.: rumors and lies ::

It's been a while since I last blogged; I know, I suck. Deal with it.

I was supposed to be in Norway as of two months ago, but as it turns out, the Norwegian government apparently hates me. My work visa has yet to be approved, so I'm currently in California working at Trolltech's office in Palo Alto on a short-term contract.

"But, Chris - how did you end up in California? I thought you were in Boston!"

Yes, yes, I was. I was in Boston until I ran out of sofas to crash on. Then I took my car and talked a crazy friend of mine (the author of naim to be precise) into doing a cross-country road trip with me. We made the trip from Boston to Phoenix in about forty-two hours, give or take.

I spent a few weeks in Chandler, leeching off of my parents, and generally trying to figure out my next move. I had a lot of fun while I was there - my friend Josh left for the Navy right before I left to come out here to CA, so I was there for his sendoff party, and that was pretty great.

Oh, and I have a girlfriend now - scarily enough, she's not completely insane or otherwise mentally handicapped, yet she still likes me. So, to all my secret admirers out there: You should've moved faster! Now I'm taken, and it's too late.

Saturday can't get here fast enough.

[20:01] | [] | # | G
Fri, 06 Jan 2006
.: you have headpigeons ::

Today is the dawn of a new era!

Today is the first day that I no longer work for Red Hat.

In just a couple of short weeks, I should be in Norway working for my new employer, Trolltech.

Also, tonight, the second half of Battlestar Galactica season 2 starts! This new chapter of my life is off to a hella sweet start.

[17:51] | [] | # | G
Sat, 27 Aug 2005
.: pronunciation is important ::

I finally got to meet a few people I hadn't met before, including aseigo. He's taller than I expected, at least. According to him, I don't look anything like what he thought I'd look like, but I sound exactly the way he thought I would. Along with Thomas Zander and Rainer Endres (and someone else whose name I can't remember) we left at around 1AM to go find a bar. We asked a couple of locals where a good place to get a drink would be, and they gave us some directions and told us to look for the 'Marabu' or something similar. After about thirty seconds of walking, aseigo was already calling it the 'caribou' and I had to correct him. Once we arrived in the area that they said it would be at, there was a building with with a bright neon pink heart sign that said 'Maribé.'

At this point, before entering, we had a couple of theories. One that we figured was likely was that the locals had sent us to a gay bar, which would have amused us. Rainer didn't want to go in, but I ventured in with aseigo and Thomas and the kid whose name I can't remember; I saw a bar with alcohol behind it and a bartender, so I went back to the door and motioned to Rainer that it was ok, it was just a bar, and everything looked fine.

Rainer took a step in and then decided that he was going to go to the restaurant next door instead; I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink since much earlier, so I decided to join Rainer instead of staying with the other guys. Rainer ordered a beer, and I got a soda. About fifteen minutes later, aseigo and crew came out to join us and they were laughing pretty hard.

Apparently, the Maribé is actually a brothel.

I think that even funnier than finding that out (which was pretty funny) was the fact that aseigo even saw the sign by the stairs that said 'Services' with a man and a woman on it, and he didn't get it until the woman told him that the price was 20 EUR.

Update: It's worth noting that the Marabu was actually right next door to the restaurant that Rainer and I decided to go to; aseigo just couldn't resist the pink neon heart sign.

[04:13] | [] | # | G
Thu, 25 Aug 2005
.: proxima ::

Spain is pretty damned cool.

Well, ok, more accurately, Spanish women are pretty damned cool. I'm pretty sure I've seen more cleavage since I landed in Madrid than I have since I moved to Boston.

The trip has been exciting so far. There were two legs on the flight over - the stopover in Frankfurt was pretty uneventful. I was surprised by the fact that Lufthansa provided metal utensils for the in-flight meals; it impressed me, but at the same time, I had a realization. I shouldn't be impressed by metal silverware; I should be disappointed by plastic silverware. And on the flight from Frankfurt to Madrid, I was depressed - I guess the metal silverware is only for the cross-Atlantic flights. Anyway, once I landed, I wasn't too worried about navigating the Frankfurt airport; I've been there before (the last time I came to a KDE conference, actually) and in general, I find airports to be reasonably simple to navigate, even if you don't speak the language.

The airport in Madrid was also pretty easy; figuring out how to get on the metro was not too hard, but it took a bit more walking than I expected it would. Once I was on the subway, I figured out pretty quickly that 'proxima' is Spanish for 'next' and I was set. The route that I had planned out actually worked exactly as I hoped it would. I got off the metro at the right stop for the train station and almost bought a ticket for the right train on the wrong day. Once I made it to the train, I figured I was pretty close to safe.

The train arrived exactly when expected, and there were lots of taxis outside of the train station waiting for us, which was good. The taxi driver I rode with didn't speak much English and had no idea where the place I wanted to go happened to be; he got directions from the central office, though, and somehow I managed to find the student residence where most of us are staying.

That's the last of this entry - there's more to follow, I promise.

[20:31] | [] | # | G
Wed, 24 Aug 2005
.: akademy 2005 ::

Tomorrow is going to be interesting, I think.

I'm landing in an airport I've never been to, in a country where I don't speak the native language, and I have to make it from the airport to the train station (which is not attached to the airport, but is at least two subway stops away). Once the train arrives at the destination, I still have to make it from the train station to the place I'm actually staying, which is of course not exactly close by.

Since I'll be in Spain and my phone won't work there, the best way to contact me is either IM or email; I won't be getting any voicemails until September 3 at the earliest.

[05:27] | [] | # | G
Mon, 04 Jul 2005
.: kill all humans ::

Some asshole thought it would be a good idea to string up yellow "CAUTION" tape and block one of the one-way roads leading to my apartment building inside of the complex.

I was not amused.

I stopped my car, pulled up the handbrake, flipped on the emergency lights, got out, and walked to one side of the tape. I ripped it off, and some guy screamed out "HEY!!!" I turned to his general direction and flipped him off, and walked across the street to the other side, where I pulled down the rest of the tape and tossed it into my car.

Got back into my car and parked in my parking lot without incident, throwing out the tape on my way in to my apartment.

God dammit, I hate people sometimes.

[04:06] | [] | # | G
Sun, 01 May 2005
.: new lease ::

Renewed my lease at my apartment for another year.

I guess I'm happy enough with Royal Crest. It's just that Cambridge is a lot cooler. If caillon and I had been able to get our act together earlier, things might have been different, but oh well.

In any case, living at the same address for more than twelve months feels like some sort of a victory. Therefore, I win.

[15:36] | [] | # | G
.: almost normal ::

I'm feeling much healthier. Maybe the title is a bit of a misnomer, since we all know that I'm not anywhere close to "normal," but my throat seems to be almost completely healed and it no longer hurts to breathe, eat, or swallow.

By some assorted cleverness, I have managed to secure an upgrade to an Athlon 64 and a much nicer new case, for a net cost of about $20 to me. I'm excited.

I need to pick a project to get back into KDE hacking with.

Not much else is new. Found a really awesome pizza place a few weeks ago, and have been eating there regularly. A $10 pizza lasts me two or three days, which is awesome. Saving money is good.

[02:56] | [] | # | G
Wed, 27 Apr 2005
.: ow ::

strep throat sucks. I've had this soreness in my throat since Friday last week, and it kept getting worse. Finally, on Sunday, I went to the doctor and found out "Hey, you've got strep!"

Now I've got penicillin and cough drops. Throat still hurts. Wish my white blood cells weren't such little bitches. They're supposed to *handle* this stuff for me, dammit.

[13:53] | [] | # | G
Sun, 27 Mar 2005
.: gah ::

I hate caffeine deprivation headaches.

(For those of you following from home, yes, I had successfully kicked my caffine habit but then I realized that not drinking it sucked. So I started drinking it again. And just now, I went a couple of days without - again - and all of a sudden I've got the headaches. Fuck.)

Also, Smallville is still one of my favorite TV shows. I honestly can't decide if I like it more than Battlestar Galactica or not.

[00:35] | [] | # | G
Tue, 22 Feb 2005
.: I'm blogging this ::

davej and veebl are on my sofa. They're sitting in what currently acts as my bedroom.

Just thought I'd blog that. ;)

[01:53] | [] | # | G
Mon, 31 Jan 2005
.: the other british dave ::

Spent the entire weekend hanging out with Dave Jones, kernel slacker extraordinaire, and his wife Victoria (aka veebl). Great people, great times. I dragged them down to Boston so that we could hunt down this comic book shop I had found once by accident with daniels, and after we walked around quite a bit we managed to find it. Note to self: Kendall Square is nowhere near Kenmore Square. Need to remember that next time.

Dave also handed me a kick-ass Voodoo3 card, which is awesome, since I've been trying to hunt one down for a long time now. Problem is, it appears to be an AGP1 card, which would be great except that AGP1 cards do not in fact fit in AGP8 slots. So I can't use it in my badass desktop. It looks like I'm going to have to build a machine with older parts. Good thing I still have 512M of RAM and a spare Athlon kicking around here.

Steph moved out of the apartment again. She and Mo moved into a two-bedroom in the same complex, but we haven't hung out in weeks. It's kinda nice having the place all to myself again, now that it's actually quieted down around here. People have been over non-stop for weeks because I've been hosting Battlestar Galactica fests with the miniseries DVDs. I think that BSG is probably the most ass-kicking show on TV right now, and I've imparted this wisdom unto my coworkers and friends, even when they didn't necessarily want it.

Oh, speaking of forcing my will on others. So the whole reason that we went down to Boston was so that I could indoctrinate veebl with Transmetropolitan. I'm happy to report that davej and veebl are both already huge fans of Bill Hicks, Invader Zim (and by extension, Jhonen Vasquez), and Ed Wood. Which means that Sam needs to come up here and visit me at some point, because I think we'd all get along great.

I have ordered the Canadian release of Ginger Snaps. If you're into really awesome B-movie style monster flicks, it's perfect and you should already own it. If you're not a fan of the genre, you must suck and that's why I don't talk to you. And if you are a fan but you don't know it, GET IT. It's a story about two loner sisters who make a suicide pact with eachother but one of them ends up being bitten by a werewolf. Their mother is played by Mimi Rogers (who is amazingly hot for an older woman) and she does a scary great job in her role. The rest of the movie is also filled with great moments, but I'll leave it to you to pick it up and find out what they are. I picked mine up from DV Depot - if you do go there, tell'em that I sent you. (I have no idea what they'll do if you do, but I think it'd be cool if a dozen people went and bought this DVD and put a comment in saying 'clee sent me' - maybe they'd give me some sort of freebie or something.)

[20:49] | [] | # | G
Sat, 08 Jan 2005
.: i thought you were gonna adopt one of us ::

So on Thursday, I get a phone call around five in the evening.

It's my mom. I flip a coin and decide "WTF, might as well answer it."

She says, "I'm at the airport. You should come pick me up." I respond with, "Haha, mom. Very funny, but that'd be my line, remember?"

(Backstory: Around Christmas, I was on the phone with the family and I tell my mom this plan that I've been cooking for a few weeks, which was basically that I was going to neglect to inform anyone in advance of my plans to come visit. Meaning that, once I did show up, I'd be totally unexpected and unannounced. It's more fun that way. I explained that the only notice that she'd have would be my phone call from the airport, saying, "Hey, you should come pick me up or something.")

Apparently, my mom and I think more alike than even I want to admit. She had already bought her ticket to come up here by the time that we had this conversation around the holidays. She's here now, sitting on the sofa near me, rocking out to Bon Jovi.

And there's food in the fridge again.

Damn, I love having my mommy around.

[23:56] | [] | # | G
Thu, 06 Jan 2005
.: you're probably teeming with plague juice ::


It's been waaay too long since I updated.

The holidays were relatively uneventful, as were the days leading up to them, so there wasn't really too much to blog about.

However, the past week has been complete insanity. Where should I start?

Starting off: Kyle got here on December 28th. Seems like a short amount of time, and yet so long ago all at once. His arrival coincided with the arrival of my copy of a used copy of Final Fantasy III for the Super Nintendo (which is arguably one of the best video games of all time). We opted instead for the classic Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, however, and spent a few days playing that and fucking around with Super Metroid as well.

Once my paycheck rolled in (on December 31st), I made sure to remember to write the rent check, and then Kyle and I rolled down to New York. We dropped my car off at my uncle Ed's place in Amityville and then took the train into the city where we walked around for a couple of hours trying to get close to Times Square for the ball dropping. We ended up about two blocks away, at the corner of 40th St and 7th Ave. Amazing time. I couldn't have imagined what a million people on the streets of New York City would look like, but I can say that it was absolute insanity. We then hooked up with Ray, Mo, and Dan at the corner of 38th and 7th and we walked around for a while hunting things to do. Had a pizza in Little Italy, then managed to make it back to Penn Station for a 5AM train back out to Amityville. Slept.

Following day (the first of the new year, huzzah) we drove out to go meet up with Kyle's dad, who still lives on Long Island. Met a *ton* of Kyle's family. Had amazing Chinese food at the Golden Dragon. Slept at Kyle's dad's place.

Woke up, had breakfast at a kick-ass diner. Kyle's little sister is shockingly bright, and only six years old. We left from there, and met up with Sharissa and our buddy The Cabeza in Middle Island. Had ice cream at Friendly's, went to Wal-mart, picked up Shaun of the Dead (fucking brilliant, loved it), and then went to go see Meet the Fockers at the theater. Tickets were $9.75 apiece (ow) and we didn't even think about popcorn or food. Sharissa talked her mom into letting us crash at her place.

Next day started, we spent some more time with Sharissa and then we had to leave to get back to my uncle's place in Amityville. Had dinner of leftover Chinese food and pizza. Slept there, then woke up before the sun to start the day since Ed and his family had to leave the house by 7:30AM and so we had to be out so they could lock up. Bummed around the island a bit, picked up some bagels that are so good they scared us, drove back over to the Longwood Public Library to see if it was open at 8:30. It wasn't. We brainstormed for a bit and decided to pick up some soda. Picked up said soda, went back to the car, decided to go check out our old elementary school and see if any of our old teachers were still there. Answer: Negative. Every single one of them has either retired or moved on to the middle or high schools. Kind of depressing, that. Then we went back to the library, as we'd killed enough time for them to open up, and I promptly got a call from Vinny. We went over to his place, geeked out with more old-school video games and had a good time hanging out and catching up with his family. His mom got married a couple of weeks ago and failed to inform anyone. The wedding is August 19th. Have to go to that. From Vinny's, we drove back up here to NH, where we slept, bringing us to today.

Woke up at about 1PM, finished off Zelda (damn, that game is still awesome even after all this time) and had some of the bagels we picked up. Stayed mostly comatose the whole day long, until Steph decided it was time to go get dinner. We had dinner at Pizzico, then I had to take Kyle to the airport.

All in all, a damned good time and a crazy hectic week. The only regret is, total hacking activity of the past week: zero.

Hopefully now that I'm back I'll get to kick things up again. Email was surprisingly merciful while I was gone, so there isn't that much to catch up on.


All right, I'm out. Later, everyone.

[02:33] | [] | # | G
Fri, 17 Dec 2004
.: a barbeau-bot would weld that leak with her laser beam eyes ::

I got glasses yesterday.

It's the first time I've had glasses since the eighth grade. Definitely taking a bit of getting used to. Not having peripheral vision is a very strange thing to get re-accustomed to. Also, the fact that things blur slightly around the edges of the lenses is a little weird. Seeing reflections of people and things in the lenses is also strange (yay for my rearview vision!)

Reaction to the glasses has been pretty positive, overall. Lots of people had no idea that my vision is this bad. I may in fact have the worst vision in the entire Westford office.

Good times.

[13:25] | [] | # | G
Wed, 15 Dec 2004
.: qotd dec 15 2004 ::

"You're so, like, trying to buy my friendship with naked men." -Cassie

[23:58] | [] | # | G
Tue, 14 Dec 2004
.: less lip and more launch! ::

Also, for the record.

Mixing brownies with pink lemonade in one's stomach is what I would like to refer to as a catastrophically bad idea.


[05:51] | [] | # | G
.: thank ares you're alive ::

I have Final Fantasy III(US, VI in Japan) on the way. Super Metroid has already arrived, and I am Super Nintendo-less.

I wonder if this is what it feels like to die of thirst in the ocean.

Should have brought the fucking SNES with me when I moved. I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT. Failing that, how the *fuck* did I manage to not grab it when I was back down there in May? HOW?

The mind boggles.

[05:45] | [] | # | G
Sun, 12 Dec 2004
.: pop some more pills, pill-head ::

My addiction to caffeine may actually be completely over.

I succumbed to the desire to have a can of Coke on Friday night but the really strange thing is that it didn't even really taste good. And I haven't had any headaches all day so I don't think that I'm actually caffeine-dependent anymore.

I'm still not sure whether or not I should count this against my Operation Zero Caffeine initiative. I didn't even finish the whole can, sadly. (And I think we all know how much I hate wasting things.)

But I did crumble, and then found the soda to be less than I had remembered it. Somehow, it just wasn't the same. I feel... disenfranchised, I think. Maybe a little disappointed.

Oh well. At least the headaches are still gone.

[03:00] | [] | # | G
Thu, 09 Dec 2004
.: would you like to take advantage of Wiretap Wednesdays? ::

No thank you.
No no no. Thank you.

Today's subject is somewhat related to this entry though; I got a phone call this morning from my friend Randelle, who I haven't heard from in months. She's in the Army, stationed over in Germany at the moment. She isn't a big fan, apparently. We talked for a while - I was amazed. I shudder to think what the phone bill will be like for her friend, who had lent Randelle her phone.

Other new things... I saw Blade: Trinity last night. I liked it. I was a fan of the first two movies, though, and I love comics, so you probably shouldn't allow my opinion to sway you unless you also liked both other movies. If you did, this is more of the same - not much new, aside from Ryan Reynolds making lots of jokes about mostly stupid shit. (Right up my alley, of course, so I loved it. As did Steph. She is a huge Ryan Reynolds fan, of course.)

Steph was pissed that I withheld the name of the actress who played the lead vampire bitch in the movie though. I honestly couldn't remember her last name. Steph couldn't remember anything except that her name started with a 'P' - I got 'Parker' stuck in my head for some reason but the 'Posey' just didn't click.

Afterwards, I mentioned this to Steph and was immediately met with the Silent Treatment for being such a dick. Good times. (I wasn't intentionally being a dick, but oh well. Such is life.)

Must convince more people to learn Esperanto. I'm getting tired of speaking English. (And I could have sworn I caught some Esperanto in the movie, but I may just be hearing things.)

[20:08] | [] | # | G
Mon, 06 Dec 2004
.: I also have the orphans wet his bed while he's sleeping ::

It strikes me that I should note that I'm now caffeine-free, and have been since the day after Thanksgiving. Which, by my reckoning, puts me on Day 11 of Operation Cold Turkey.

The funny thing is, I sort of quit by accident. I didn't really mean to stop drinking soda; I just sort of ran out, and then after I'd had some pretty nasty headaches for a few days I realized that I had been going without soda for a few days. By the sixth day, the headaches were pretty much gone, and I'm feeling pretty good about not drinking that stuff at the moment.

Others have mentioned that they have lost surprising amounts of weight simply by not drinking soda anymore. I'm interested to see if this proves true for me as well.

[06:20] | [] | # | G
Thu, 04 Nov 2004
.: we have bigger problems than a butter shortage ::

and I never thought I'd say that.

Things with Cassie are as complicated as ever. Still trying to figure out the whole situation; she has officially given me the "Just Friends" label, but I keep getting this vibe that she wouldn't mind being more at some point. Maybe it's just hope.

Lon tried talking me into buying a motorcycle at one point in the past couple weeks. Blizzard also recommended it, as he's the proud owner of a new bike. I suggested the idea to Steph, who promptly called me an idiot and threatened to not be my friend anymore. I'm still surprised by the things that anger her. She doesn't seem to have a valid reason for it, and when I probed for more details she pretended like she had already brought up the "But you'll kill yourself!" argument (which she hadn't).

Cliff's new language is shaping up to be interesting. I never really dug the Smalltalk syntax (from what I saw of it) but I do like ObjC and Ruby is my preferred scripting language these days.

Tia came to visit, and she kicks ass. It was awesome while she was here; it sucks now that she's gone, because I have nobody to cuddle with. Steph has a boyfriend, and even when she doesn't, she doesn't like cuddling with me so that's out. Oh well - it was awesome while it lasted. Hopefully Tia'll be back up soon. And more of my friends will come out to visit me.

[23:44] | [] | # | G
Sun, 31 Oct 2004
.: qotd 10.31.2004 ::

cassie: "I'm not lying! I'm half-lying! ... which means I'm half-truthing."

[23:32] | [] | # | G
Tue, 05 Oct 2004
.: the past year ::

I was reading Cliff's LiveJournal and I started thinking about my own life, especially the past year.

Overall, I have to admit that I'm surprised at where I am today.

I mean, a year ago... well, without going into too many details, I don't think it's really an overstatement to say that October 2003 was by far the worst month of my life. (So far, anyway.)

In short - I got laid off from my previous job; Mickey had sex with another guy while we were "on a break;" and I got into a car accident.

All in the space of about three weeks.

This October is looking to be a lot better; I'm working at Red Hat, and they absolutely kick ass. I've still got the Tercel, and that car is awesome to drive. (The manual transmission continues to make me surprisingly giddy.) I'm living in my own apartment, and the weather is getting cold enough that I can see my own breath. I finally managed to get the fuck out of Arizona, where it hit a hundred degrees last week. I'm still single, and I continue to have the amazing luck of The Nice Guy, but I'm used to that, so it's not really surprising. Being single is both better and worse; my relationship with Mickey was so fucked up that it was worse than being alone, overall, but I hate being alone.

Still, taking everything into consideration... I think I'm doing a hell of a lot better where I am now. And it's good to know that - no matter how bad this month might be - it's going to be awfully hard for it to be worse than the same time last year.

[03:30] | [] | # | G
Fri, 01 Oct 2004
.: I can hear again! ::

WARNING: Story involving earwax follows.

About a week and a half ago, I took a shower and got some water stuck in my ear. This has happened many times before, but I was impatient this particular time and instead of waiting for it to drain I decided to take matters into my own hands. I grabbed a Q-tip and plunged it deep into my ear, and instead of freeing the water and making everything better I apparently pressed something shut and turned off my hearing in my left ear.

This condition of half-deafness lasted for over a week.

Just yesterday (well, the night before last night, anyway, but at like 3AM) I got so pissed off that I started digging at the inner canal of my left ear trying desperately to shake out or loosen up whatever it was that had gotten caught. Amazingly enough, I succeeded, without causing any damage. And now I can hear again.

It's amazing how much I took the whole being-able-to-hear-from-both-ears thing for granted. I shall never do so again.

[12:29] | [] | # | G
Wed, 29 Sep 2004
.: almost wrecked my car tonight ::

I dropped tberman off at the Westford Regency Inn and on the way home, I took exit #35B from the 495. That particular exit is a little bit sharp. I was going about thirty and I probably should have been going about twenty, and my car started to slide as it hydroplaned. Amazingly enough, I managed to control the slide and even though I did pull a *sweet* 180, I didn't even scratch the car. Nor did I get hurt.

So for all you folks out there rooting for my death, I have cheated you once again. Bitches.

[02:20] | [] | # | G
Tue, 21 Sep 2004
.: daddy needs his medicine ::

Steph got me sick.

She had a runny nose and a little tiny wussy cough when she came up this weekend but it hit me quite a bit harder last night. This morning doesn't feel quite so bad - my throat is still a little sore, and my sinuses are a little clogged up, but my nose is mostly not running now. Which is definitely an improvement.

Even my tattoo can't make up for the inherent unsexiness of coughing my brains out.

Still evaluating whether or not Cassie will be safe from infection if I go to see her today. Should probably find a doctor... I have health benefits for a reason, right?

[12:16] | [] | # | G
Sun, 19 Sep 2004
.: bored bored bored bored bored ::

Nothing's going on. Everything is just kind of laid-back and I'm cool with that, except that I have nobody to hang around and do nothing with.

Doing nothing alone is weak. Doing nothing with other people around is fun. At least then you can have conversations and good times.

I just don't feel like getting up though. I mean, I'm typing this laying down on my sofa, in my living room... the keyboard is resting with one end on the sofa and the other propped up against my leg, the mouse is on the armrest, and I'm laying down with my head facing out, tilted slightly up so I can see th emonitor. I don't know if I can get much lazier than this.

Life is good.

[19:09] | [] | # | G
Fri, 17 Sep 2004
.: enough talk. let's ... kill a human ::

Can't figure out why I can't sleep. Normally I have no problems falling asleep, but the past few days have sucked pretty badly. No idea what the fuck is going on but I'm not digging it.

The other thing that's really screwing with me is that even though it's taking me forever to get to sleep, my body seems to think that waking up at about 7AM is perfect. My brain disagrees pretty violently. It goes something like this:

06:59 [brain] what the... son of a bitch, CUT THAT SHIT OUT
07:00 [body] hmmm.
07:02 [brain] I swear... you will pay for this.
07:28 [brain] holy shit, why am I awake?


Steph came back up today. Kinda caught me by surprise since I wasn't even sure if she was going to come up at all. She picked up Super Troopers which is absolutely hysterical. I got the new Bowling for Soup album, with the song 1985 on it for her at Barnes & Noble. (She loves that song.) Typical whiny punk stuff, but the song is definitely catchy.

[02:28] | [] | # | G
Tue, 14 Sep 2004
.: the usual kind ::

The ride back from Long Island last night was unbelievable. The fog was incredible - I literally could not see three cars ahead of me at times. Not that there were any cars on the road anyway, but still - the visibility levels hit some pretty scary depths on the 495. And the temperature dropped pretty low as well; not sure if that was a side effect of the speed I was driving at, or both windows being down, or what, but it was pretty crazy.

The weekend in general was just a crazy wild ride. Got to see Kyle again, which is always a good time. I'm proud that he's my friend. His pimposity has reached awesome new highs, and I have to salute him; we had a blast. Watched the Punisher on DVD as well, which was awesome.

Not everything went perfectly, of course, but hey. Life goes on.

[21:21] | [] | # | G
Fri, 10 Sep 2004
.: wonder if it's legal to sell this stuff to kids ::

Work continues to rock. I was at the office until about half past ten tonight and I didn't even realize it. Crazy, but in a good way.

Talked to Kyle. He's flying up to Long Island tomorrow. We're working out the whole schedule for me to go visit him while he's there - I think I'm driving down on Saturday but we'll see what happens. Haven't seen that crazy bastard in months, so there's no way I can miss this - he doesn't come up here that often. Have my fingers crossed - hoping that I can score the condo out in Moriches bay for Saturday night and Sunday morning, but I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch...

Cassie continues to surprise me with new levels of ass-kickery. I'm still absolutely shocked that someone as cool as her is remotely interested in me. Not complaining, mind you, but this kind of thing simply doesn't happen to yours truly.

Still haven't gotten tired of macaroni and cheese. Which is a really good thing, I think, since I suspect I'm going to be eating it pretty frequently for the next few days. Until I get paid on Wednesday that is. (Which dovetails nicely with Cassie swinging by. Should remember to clean the apartment before she gets here. It'd be terribly embarassing if she got lost in the mess.)

Steph continues to amuse me. I have high hopes that she'll figure out what it is that she wants someday, but I don't know when that day will be. The sooner the better. Should be interesting to see how she and Cassie get along... they still haven't met yet.

For some reason, the scent of saltwater was really strong in the air when I was driving home from visiting Cassie at the dorm. This was unexpected, but extremely pleasant. I miss the ocean.

[01:12] | [] | # | G
Thu, 09 Sep 2004
.: the black death is coming ::

I have decided that from now on I'm going to use random Sealab quotes (or maybe one-liners from bash.org) as my blog titles.

Cassie totally kicks ass. (Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while now may ask yourselves - Cassie? Who is this Cassie? And what happened to Libby?)

No, my blog has not in fact turned into a soap opera. As cool as that would be, I think that the technologies involved are nowhere near the level that they would need to be for real soap opera goodness. However, my own personal life has been pretty complicated lately, so I'll lay it out...

Libby was awesome and I hit on her at Hot Topic, where she works - however, despite my initial interpretation of good signals, Libby apparently doesn't want a boyfriend, and she doesn't actually seem to want to hang out with me even as friends, so she's been written off.

Cassie on the other hand, completely rules. She hit on me on the Internet, which is a first, and she also lives relatively close. She just moved into the dorm at a college that is about half an hour away, and I went over there today. We watched Underworld, which was awesome in the same terrible way that Starship Troopers was. Some of the worst acting I've ever seen, coupled with impressive special effects and the most predictable plotlines you could ever imagine, and I'm hooked.

Let's see, what else? Cassie is short. Really really short. Like five foot one short. And she's really cute. Her hair is brunette (which is ok, as redheads are all batshit insane anyway) and it's terrifyingly long. She's eighteen, which is ok, since I'm still only twenty, but she acts a bit more mature than most of the other eighteen year olds that I know, so we'll see how that works out. She also is a huge video game fanatic, which is ridiculously sweet. And her favorite Final Fantasy was VII, which is a pretty damned good choice for a favorite.

She also knows every single Sealab quote that I've thrown at her. Which for some reason is a huge turn-on to me. She laughs at my jokes, too, and she even completes some of the quotes when I start them.

So, life is interesting, at least. Just when I've actually really decided to give up on women, fate throws another one at me. I should really do this whole "giving up on women" thing more often, if this is the result...

[00:24] | [] | # | G
Fri, 27 Aug 2004
.: new keyboard ::

caillon is buying me a new keyboard soon.

Poor bastard. :)

In related news, Steph is back in town for the weekend. It really sucks that I miss her so much when she's gone. Son of a bitch, I really wasn't expecting that. Gah.

Watched Requiem for a Dream and Frailty tonight. Both of those movies rock. Steph had never seen either one of them; she ended up liking Frailty more, which is interesting. Requiem still fucks with me. The music in that movie is excellent, as is the cinematography.

I definitely feel bad for caillon though. The forty-five minute drive home has got to be killing him.

[05:30] | [] | # | G
Thu, 12 Aug 2004
.: so long and thanks for all the fish ::

Wow, lots of news since last time I blogged. First off, sorry about the server being down; apparently we had a hardware failure on the machine that my blog and planet KDE are both hosted on, and I was ill-prepared for it; my mail was down for a few hours, as well, which was no good.

Steph got hired as a nanny in New York. She's moving her stuff out this weekend. I'm excited for her - I think she's going to do an awesome job as a nanny, and she's great with kids; but I'm also really going to miss her. Steph is awesome, and the apartment isn't going to be the same without her.

In other news, we went down to Long Island last weekend. I had a blast; it felt so great to be home again, and I got to see a couple of my friends. We went to the beach at Smith Point and I got my ass kicked by the waves. I still have a couple of sand burns on my back to prove it.

caillon, J5, maureen, and halfline came over last night. There was hookah and Gamecube, and much rejoicing. Found a smoke shop in Salem, NH that sells shisha, and I picked up two packs of grape. If it's good, I'll be going back frequently; if it's not, I guess it's back to ordering from the internet. I don't know why, but there's just something satisfying about the whole instant gratification thing.

[12:56] | [] | # | G
Wed, 04 Aug 2004
.: potentially offensive pics ::

Do not click on these if you are faint of heart, easily disgusted or offended, or otherwise a dumbass.

That being said, I thought that these were too funny to NOT post.

(Girl in photos is my roommate, Steph. She rocks. Funny-looking chubby topless guy with tattoo is yours truly.)

Steph and I get awfully close with our tongues and Steph is amazed by my wang.

These photos are posted for amusement purposes only. If you don't find them funny, well, I'm sorry. If you find them erotic, please see a counselor or seek other professional help.

[02:45] | [] | # | G
Tue, 03 Aug 2004
.: one of those moments ::

... When you realize how much of a geek you really are.

(sitting here on the sofa, listening to music, sending messages back and forth with my roommate, who happens to be sitting on the same sofa. Three feet away.)


[22:06] | [] | # | G
Sun, 01 Aug 2004
.: rollerblading ::

Went rollerblading for the first time in a couple of years yesterday, and found out a few interesting things.

  • One of the axles in my left boot has cracked.
  • My bearings are all rusted.
  • I need new laces for my boots.
  • I'm woefully out of shape.
  • No, really. I hurt.

Also did some pushups. That was interesting. Made it to 73 without stopping, but my back is punishing me for it today. And my chest, and my arms. Ah, what an awesome feeling... The burn from physical exhaustion is actually a welcome pain.

[12:27] | [] | # | G
Sun, 25 Jul 2004
.: Geek Central ::

Heh. Just remembered this snippet of conversation between Steph and myself:

clee: http://www.thinkgeek.com/oreilly/tshirts/5eb7/
clee: For me
clee: http://www.thinkgeek.com/oreilly/tshirts/6388/
clee: For you
steph: We should get those and wear them at the same time and then go out!
clee: :D
steph: Geek Central
clee: That would be awesome :)
clee: And the best part, of course, would be us taking pictures, and then posting them on our blogs :D

We will have those shirts. Oh yes.

I scare myself sometimes.

[13:25] | [] | # | G
.: instant embarrassment ::

Daniel and I originally planned on staying in Canada until Tuesday or so; instead, we left yesterday and got a head start. We made excellent time on the trip home; it took just over five hours for us to make it from Ottawa to Nashua, including two stops for gas.

OLS registration: $250 CDN
Hotel stay at Les Suites: $215/night, CDN
Pizza at 2AM: $20 CDN
Two tanks of gas: $40 USD
The look on Steph's face when we showed up three days early: Priceless

(Incidentally, that Mastercard marketing campaign was simply stunning. Hooray for corporate marketing!)

Seriously, though; the look on Steph's face was just awesome. The apartment is a total mess; she didn't do any laundry, and everything is awesome. Her hair looks dead sexy though. (She dyed it red, apparently just finishing the process before we got home.)

OLS rocked. Daniel and I both agreed that we definitely have to do it again next year, only next time 1) We're taking our time getting up there. Two or three days each way. There's too much fun stuff that we missed out on this time. And 2) Steph has gotta go with us. Maybe we can get her involved in some sort of documentation effort, or translation, or something; it doesn't really matter. I'm sure we can get her involved in the community somehow, and once she is she'll have a valid reason for coming.

And one of the few things that sucked about OLS was not having Steph around. I really wasn't expecting to miss her that much, but I did.

Now. Since we're back home, there's this rather large Netserver LXr Pro which needs an operating system. I've got the idea into my head that I want LDAP user accounts and Kerberos passwords in the apartment, so we'll see. I need to get an OS booting on this thing first though, which looks like it may actually be easier said than done...

[13:18] | [] | # | G
Sat, 24 Jul 2004
.: qotd 07/24/04 ::

From Josh: "You give us mall employees hope"

(said after I told him the story of how I hit on Libby)

[04:12] | [] | # | G
Sun, 18 Jul 2004
.: hottest. redhead. ever. ::

Just got back from an awesome date with Libby. I met her at Hot Topic while Daniel and I were shopping for some ass-kicking Nintendo shirts - she works there. I hit on her and asked her for her phone number - which apparently caught her off-guard, as she actually gave me her real number - and we just had a pseudo-date tonight at Pizzeria Uno.

Reasons why Libby kicks ass:

  1. Redhead.
  2. Cynical.
  3. Killer sense of humor.
  4. Gorgeous.
  6. She knows what Linux is.

There are more, but I'm stoked enough right now that I can hardly concentrate. I'll update more later on.

In other news, Chris Blizzard is hitching a ride up to Ottawa with Daniel and myself. We're doing the road trip with Rik van Riel and his wife, as well as Dave Jones.

Life kicks so much ass that my cheeks are starting to hurt.

[01:19] | [] | # | G
Wed, 30 Jun 2004
.: surprise revelation ::

{lady friend}: no you're my examplar of what the guys i date have to live up to :-p


I'm humbled. I had no idea that I was anywhere near that cool.

Of course, this means I'm just going to be that much more insufferable in the Real World, because I rock so much. But yeah, I was really surprised that someone out there thinks that of me.

[00:53] | [] | # | G
Thu, 17 Jun 2004
.: drunken monkeys ::

Heh. I almost forgot that we went to go meet with a couple of Ximian guys in Cambridge last night. Ray, John Palmieri, Dan Reed and myself all met up right outside the T and we were completely pimped out in our stylish red fedoras (those hats rock). We had dinner at this cool place called CBC - can't remember what it stood for - and then we met the monkeys over at a pool hall.

Dave Camp is a funny motherfucker.

And Luis Villa is also pretty funny, but in a more quiet sort of way. Dave is funny in an "I'm the asshole that everyone loves to hate" way, which is fine with me. Upon seeing us in our (ridiculously sexy) red hats, he told us to get the hell out of his bar. We laughed, and then someone mentioned that I'm the guy he should kick out since I work on KDE. (I think that it might've been me who mentioned it, but anyway.) So then he looks at me and proceeds to tell me "Ok, they're cool, but YOU definitely need to leave." And then we had a fun time bullshitting about various things, including the whole Novell/Ximian/SUSE craziness.

Dave's version of a meeting with one of our KDE guys over at SUSE in Germany:

"So, what're you gonna do if they pick GNOME?"
"I'm going to quit." ::pause:: "What're you going to do if they pick KDE?"
"I'm gonna quit."
"Well, cheers!" ::drinking::


[16:05] | [] | # | G
.: wonder where all the socks came from ::

I'm personally fine with broadcasting my personal life over the internet to whoever's interested. It's sort of an exhibitionist thrill, but I understand that it's definitely not for everyone.

Having said that, I've got the good sense not to blog about anything too personal on here, as I know that anybody could read it.

As far as "the goal of planetkde" - the goal that I've set for it is exactly what it says in the disclaimer. It's the aggregation of public weblogs written by KDE contributors; that means that if they only want me to feed from their KDE topic, then I will; but if they don't mind having the rest of their info on the site too, then I'm fine with that as well. So long as the blog content isn't direct obvious flamebait, I'll have no reason to mess around with things. Also, although I think it sounds cool to rule with an iron fist, I'm far too lazy to do that.

Now, since this is actually a personal entry (and not a tech/KDE one) I have to say that I'm super excited because my friend Steph is moving up here and she's leaving in less than three weeks! Seriously. My life just keeps on kicking more ass. On top of that, Daniel's coming up in three weeks and three days, and we're leaving for OLS on the seventeenth, I think. Everything rocks. And Red Hat is the coolest place to work, ever.

[15:57] | [] | # | G
.: ok, this sucks less ::

Ah... I love it when things work out.

So, mere minutes after my last post, lyp pinged me on IRC and we sorted things out. He's uncomfortable with his personal posts being on Planet KDE anyway, which I totally understand, so he's set up a new RSS feed for KDE-related posts. And has thus been re-added to the blogroll, as has mornfall.

Good times.

[12:05] | [] | # | G
.: this sucks ::

I've been friends with lypanov (aka Alexander Kellet) for a while now; at least, I've considered us friends for a while. He's a great guy, he's really cool, and we've always gotten along pretty well.

Yesterday, he posted an entry to his blog stating that he was giving up on KDE, and immediately thereafter, he logged off of IRC (before I had a chance to ask him what was going on). Within the hour, I had received half a dozen emails asking me why our own developers were giving up on our project and if KDE had a future.

Now, I don't consider myself to be a fascist dictator by any means, but at the time the only options I saw were to leave things the way they were and field the questions, ask him to change his entry (which I vehemently disagree with), or to remove his blog temporarily until I had a chance to chat with him and find out what was going on.

Unfortunately, as a result I've been asked remove Peter Rockai's blog. Peter's also a really cool guy who I've gotten along with pretty well so far, and he brought up a really good point - which is that I should have done this (replying in public about the issue) from the start. I wish that I had. Now apparently Alex doesn't want to be back anyway (which I can understand) and Peter is gone as well.

Ugh. What does everyone else think? Feel free to email me your thoughts, or if you've got a blog syndicated here, feel free to post a reply on it.

[11:32] | [] | # | G
Sun, 30 May 2004
.: my new apartment ::

Moved into my new apartment on the 25th and I've been chilling with Tony down in Boston for the past few days. Life is good! I have no furniture, but I have a TV, my computer, and cable internet.

I also have no food. Nor do I have any cooking tools, like pots or pans or knives, to cook food, if I did have some. My fridge looks pretty typical of what I'd guess most bachelors' fridges look like; there's donuts and some leftover pizza (if you can call Pizza Hut pizza, anyway).

Steph was supposed to fly up this weekend, but her boss was evil and told her she wouldn't have a job to come back to if she did. Which sucks. And my aunt was supposed to come up to visit, but she had to put out some fires with one of her tenants, so that hasn't happened yet. So they've both ditched me but it's ok; everything is going to work out just fine. Steph is on another "I think I want to move up there" kick. Hopefully this one will actually result in her moving up here. I've got my fingers crossed, but I'm not holding my breath.

Other than that... the tattoo looks awesome, still, and damn, but I need a desk and a chair for this computer. Hrm.

[23:57] | [] | # | G
Mon, 24 May 2004
.: excitement in the air ::

Finally feels like things are going places. I just got back from a great week and a half in Arizona on Wednesday night; for whatever reason, I came down with a fever almost immediately after I got back, which included a really nasty throat condition where it hurt to swallow. Fever broke a day or two ago, but the throat still hurts. Nasty.

For the first time since I can remember, Arizona was actually fun to be in. I had a BLAST. Kyle came down from Colorado; I got to see pretty much every single one of my friends; I got a tattoo; and I did some other things which I'm quite proud of, but which aren't fit to print, especially not on a public blog like this. I even got to say "goodbye" to a few of my old teachers from high school, which was awesome.

And, to top it all off, I move into my new apartment on Tuesday (yeah, I got approved!) and two weeks from that, I start at redhat. Even cooler is that daniels is coming up on July 11th, and we're gonna go crash OLS and kick some ass in Canada.

Oh, and apparently (according to Steph) I've become some sort of a pimp. Can't argue with that. :)

[04:01] | [] | # | G
Tue, 27 Apr 2004
.: apartment hunting ::

Have to go apartment hunting today. (I'm in Boston for the week, looking at the area and seeing what's around here.) Basically, it looks like I'm going to get face-raped by someone with a running start. A grand a month for a one-bedroom... it makes me want to cry.

Oh well. This is a good problem to have. Much better than the "homeless, jobless, and starving" problem I was facing a few months ago. Although if I can't find a place for a low-enough price, I may be facing that problem again.

On the bright side of things, the X Developers Conference starts tomorrow and that should be a blast.

[07:50] | [] | # | G
Sat, 24 Apr 2004
.: oil change ::

Changed the oil on my car this morning. Heading up to Boston today to go look for an apartment/housing, as well as to go to the X Developers Conference - hooray!

Something about doing an oil change is satisfying. I don't know exactly what it is, though. Just feels good. I'm also glad to note that my car appears to not be burning oil, which may have something to do with my satisfaction.

Oh, and I got hired by Red Hat.

[11:13] | [] | # | G
Tue, 20 Apr 2004
.: new jeans ::

My jeans rock, especially since they're these $10 jeans that I can beat the living shit out of and kick ass in. And they look badass on me, too, because they make my ass look hot. Which is no easy feat, but they do. I want my own ass at this point. It really looks that hot. If I saw my ass in these jeans, walking down the street, I'd be like "DAMN BITCH, THAT IS SOME FINE ASS YOU'VE GOT" and then when I turned around I'd smack myself in the face and say "What the fuck did you just say, bitch?" And then I'd kick my own ass all over the place, Tyler Durden style.

[01:37] | [] | # | G
Sat, 17 Apr 2004
.: evil plots ::

Got a phone call from Brandi for the first time in weeks. Scared the shit out of me, as I had almost given up on her ever calling me again, since she does it so infrequently. I tortured her with descriptions of delicious buffalo beef. She wasn't amused, but I took great pleasure in it. When she finally gets up here, I'm going to have to make sure to stock up. We're talking five pounds, easy, of buffalo meat. Mmmm. Buffalo meat.

If you still haven't tried it, you're probably a terrorist, or at least a vegetarian, which is just about as bad in my book. I feel like I should reiterate a point that I've been making to my friends - for some reason, the women seem to take particular offense to this one, but hear me out. I would eat (cooked) baby seals if they tasted good. I don't care how cute they are; if they tasted good, I'd be sitting down at the table with a fork and knife ready and waiting. Determining your willingness to eat an animal based on how cute it looks while it's alive is total bullshit, so stop doing it. Base your willingness to eat animals on how good they taste. (For example, I don't think that buffalo are significantly far from cows on the cuteness scale, but I'll tell you what.... I'd eat buffalo over cow any day of the week, that's for damned sure.)

The only depressing thing about buffalo meat is the price tag. I mean, it is definitely well worth the $5/pound price, but I wish it were cheaper anyway. Anyway, I'm about to collapse, as it's getting light outside again, which means that it's time for me to go to sleep.

[05:49] | [] | # | G
Wed, 14 Apr 2004
.: buffalo ::

so for all of you out there who have yet to experience the absolutely delicious taste of buffalo meat: I pity you. and for all of you who refuse to partake in such delicious food, I have no clue what's wrong with you, but I will sponsor you if necessary.

in other news, I'm extrememly psyched. I don't want to jinx myself yet but there is a potential job prospect that I'm very excited about. I'll announce more if something comes of it. that's all for now.

oh, and also... badger.

[18:50] | [] | # | G
Tue, 13 Apr 2004
.: why are women evil? ::

ok, I have a problem. I have a problem with women, specifically. I won't name any names but I know you're reading this out there, and this entry is all because of YOU.

with that said, what the hell? I move to NY and all of a sudden, it's like "Hey, you know... It's really too bad that you're in NY. And it's too bad that I have a boyfriend."

as if that's not bad enough, then it becomes "Oh... well, I guess since you're in NY I can tell you that I did like you. hahaha! Doesn't that suck? You're 2500 miles away! And you can't do anything about it! But I do have a boyfriend anyway. Still..."

so. completely. uncool.

I'm going to be beating myself over this for weeks. I can tell.

maybe Josh has the right idea. although apparently, the same sort of thing happened to him after he went gay - only it became "Hey, you know... It's really too bad that you're gay. I really liked you."

I mean, seriously. I'm not gay, and I don't think I ever could be, but you women are all evil.

[18:30] | [] | # | G
Mon, 12 Apr 2004
.: qotd ::

today's quote (from Tia):
"hell if i would have known that you were moving i would have handcuffed you to a bed and stuck you in a basement somewhere so you couldn't leave"

good to know that I have friends who would abduct me and keep me in a basement. definitely good to know.

[20:23] | [] | # | G
.: updates ::

so, where to begin - it's been way too long since I wrote anything down; my apologies to anyone out there reading but I haven't had nearly as much internet access as usual lately, and I can't seem to find any decent blogging software for OS X so I may end up having to write my own.

in other news.... Steph has decided not to move out here. shocking, I know. it's actually kind of sad, because she's really cool, and I was kinda looking forward to her moving out here. on the other hand, it's rather freeing, and I realized the other day that I'm officially more free right now, at this very moment, than I've ever been before in my life. I have no responsibilities to anyone, really - I have no obligations to maintain, no relationships holding me down or keeping me from doing what I want, and it's sort of a scary place to be. hopefully things will firm up a bit soon; it's an interesting place to be at, though.

have been going to interviews and submitting the resume at tons of places up here. no solid results yet, unfortunately.

[19:45] | [] | # | G
Thu, 26 Feb 2004
.: in new york ::

I'm finally in New York, and I've actually been here for a couple of weeks now. been a while since I updated the blog so I figured "what the hell" and decided to go ahead and post a bit of info.

the job search hasn't been too promising so far, but Syracuse is gorgeous. I really love the area, and the fact that snow is all over the place probably has something to do with it. everyone here thinks I'm insane because I love the cold; maybe I am actually crazy, but I still get a kick out of it.

haven't had much time to hack on KDE lately, what with trying to find viable employment. my aunt has this great idea that I should be the Easter Bunny or one of his assistants; I'm really not too into the idea personally, but I do have to admit that it'd probably be pretty funny if I had to resort to that. I mean, it'd suck terribly for me of course. but it'd still be hilarious, and maybe in a few years I'd be able to laugh about it. maybe.

[20:39] | [] | # | G
Sun, 01 Feb 2004
.: orkut ::

everybody else is blogging about it, so I guess I'll join in too. orkut is nifty. I don't have five thousand friends, but I think that maybe instead of being obsessed with collecting as many as possible I'm going to just use it to keep in touch with the ones that I do have. well, the ones that are on the service anyway.

other than that, not much news. been listening to Massive Attack's 100th Window lately. good stuff. really starting to dig Thirteenth Step, as well, for some reason. I didn't like it that much when I first heard it, but it's grown on me quite a bit.

[16:44] | [] | # | G
Fri, 23 Jan 2004
.: jessica and intervention ::

the intervention didn't happen. Caitie got cold feet, chickened out, and didn't even show up until twenty minutes before Jessica left. I feel like shit.

Jessica really is too good for her boyfriend. that's really all there is too it. I wish I could have convinced Caitie to go through with it, but my persuasive skills aren't what they used to be, I guess. oh well... I tried, and I failed. it really does make me sad though.

[01:07] | [] | # | G
Thu, 22 Jan 2004
.: resolutions ::

it's been almost a week since my last blog! damn. I resolved to make sure to update this more often. not even four weeks and I'm already falling behind.

yesterday was fun. Caitie, Nuge, Brandi, Josh, and I all went to Red Sea. Kevin was over there (surprise surprise!) and Cliff showed up eventually, as did Steph, It was like a party or something, almost. everybody's decided that they're going to throw me a huge going-away party, although the little details (like "when" and "where") have yet to be decided. sounds like good fun though.

Steph took advantage of Brandi being there, and apologized to her. Or so she says. haven't heard Brandi's side of the story yet. still, it's nice to hear that Steph's trying to be less caustic. she got me a gift yesterday, too, completely unexpectedly. the Onion calendar. hooray! new Onion every day for the rest of the year.

that's about all. the last week hasn't been that interesting. tonight should be, though. Caitie and Nuge and I have finally agreed to do our intervention with Jessica. no idea how that's going to go, but ... it needs to be done. Jessica is a really great friend, and an amazing woman, and she deserves far better than what she's currently getting. anyway.

[16:46] | [] | # | G
Sat, 17 Jan 2004
.: st. anger ::

I've been really getting into Metallica's St. Anger lately. I don't know why. You can hate me now, I guess - I know that all of the TRUE METALLICA FANS hate anything more recent than the Black album (which was good, of course). I guess I'm not a TRUE METALLICA FAN then. that, and of course anybody who likes Metallica must have hated Napster. I have some news for you people - Napster was cool, but most of the stuff that people had on there was shitty. Too many idiots with broken CD rippers made too many shitty single MP3 copies. The real draw for me with Napster was the fact that I could find people with similar music interests, not the quality of the songs. besides, Ogg Vorbis kicks MP3 ass.

in other news, not much is going on. watched some old home videos with Steph tonight - vintage stuff from the summer before last. good times. we had dinner at NYPD. reminds me of how much I miss playing hockey. (Danny Schowe used to work there. I don't think he does anymore, sadly. He was on my hockey team back in high school though.)

also good: Radiohead's Hail it to the Thief. I don't know why but it feels like the whole album is different interpretations of the same emotion. I like it though. need to get my hands on some more of their stuff. I hear Kid A was pretty good.

[00:57] | [] | # | G
Mon, 12 Jan 2004
.: temet nosce ::

I got into a funny conversation with Steph about marriage (of all things) earlier. I have a friend who lives in Minnesota and we were chatting the other day - the gist of the conversation was that since I'm going to Syracuse, and potentially staying for a while, and applying to work at S.U., I would be getting free tuition. I joked that it'd be convenient for her to just marry me and move in with me so she could take advantage of the free tuition (in the event that I do stay in Syracuse and that I'm working at S.U.).

Steph exploded when I told her about this, revealing much more than I think she intended. "You can't just marry someone for convenience! That's completely the wrong reason to get married! What are you, retarded?" Apparently Steph still believes that people should only get married if they're in love. I think that's pretty amusing, personally, just because it doesn't seem to be that common a view among the 20+ crowd that we're going to be joining this year.

Would I actually marry someone for convenience? I don't know. Would I do it just for sex? Nah. Would I do it for the convenience of a lower insurance premium? Probably not. But would I do it if I knew that it was someone who would put up with me and keep me company so I wouldn't have to be alone? That's the one I'm not really too sure about. I hate being alone. I mean, I don't mind being left alone for a while if I'm busy doing something important but I just don't enjoy being single.

Part of the problem, I think, is that I'm not nearly as confident as Steph is that I'm going to find that special someone. I mean, I don't think I'm quite troll-like (well, as long as I shower and shave, that is), but I'm not going to be featured on the cover of GQ anytime soon, and it's not like I go clubbing or anything. Not that I'd necessarily want to date anybody that I might meet clubbing - that whole idea scares me. But I'm not that attractive and I'm not that social, and most of the women I'm interested in aren't interested back. The few that I've dated that have been interested in me for me have ended up cheating on me (or wanting to and thus ending the relationship) so I don't really feel quite so self-confident anymore. Am I self-doubting? No, because I think the whole concept of self-doubt involves insecurity and questioning things, while I'm fairly sure of my lesser qualities. I also think that's one of the reasons I get a kick out of helping people - I feel better about myself when I know that I'm having a positive effect on others. Which, I think, also explains my whole knight-in-shining-armor complex.

Felt kind of weird to realize that I'm the friend Steph calls when she's got "alone time" while she's up in Idaho. Yeah, definitely weird.

[00:53] | [] | # | G
Thu, 08 Jan 2004
.: And now for something completely the same. ::

So I just went through a fairly messy breakup with Mickey, who I'd been with for well over a year and a half. It turns out that she slept with her (ex?)-best-friend Andrew back in October, and I found out about it just in time for Christmas. Great Christmas present.

Ugh. I feel like an ass. I guess it's a good thing that it happened at this point instead of later on, down the road, after more wasted time and such. Still, it sucks. I hate being alone. I had almost conquered my adequacy issues for a while there, too. Not to mention my problems with trusting people.

And then today I find out another great bit of news: Mickey's already got a new boyfriend. Way to go. I want her to be happy. I want to be happy too though, and this doesn't help me towards that goal at all. Two days ago she was swearing up and down that she didn't want to date anyone ever again and that she'd wait forever for me to forgive her and then this turns up. Good times. I have no idea how long it'll take me to get over her. Steff and I only dated for three or four months, but it took me a year and a half before I was ready for another relationship; I'm afraid of how long it might take before I'm actually ready for the next one, if there'll even be a next one.

(For those among you who don't know - Steff was my first serious girlfriend and Steph is her ex-best-friend. Steff and I don't talk. Steff and Steph don't talk. Steph and I talk all the time, and we're pretty good friends.)

Oh well. The road trip to Colorado was awesome. Hands-down the most fun I've had in years. Steph is awesome. And I forgot just how well Kyle and I get along. He's a rarity, I think - a truly great friend, not just someone fun to hang out with but someone that I know would take a bullet for me and someone I'd take do the same for without a second thought. You don't stumble across a friendship like that too often. Steph is completely head over heels for him, of course; and his girlfriend Krystal is also amazing. She's really cute, and she seems like a great match for him. I'm glad for him - they make a good couple. Steph isn't so glad, as she's so into him, but she'll have to figure out some way of dealing with it.

Speaking of Steph, it turns out that her grandmother died a day or two after we got back from CO. Not cool. It kind of puts a shitty pall over the memory of the trip because we were sitting there having a grand ol' time while her grandma was dying. Another reason for me to feel like an ass.

I love my keyboard. Logitech stuff hasn't impressed me this much in the past, but now I'm thinking that my next keyboard purchase will probably also be a Logitech as well. I still like the Microsoft optical mice though.

KDE stuff is always interesting. I got free access to the Lindows ISOs today by virtue of my being a KDE developer as well as eV member. I sent an email to Michael Robertson (CEO of Lindows and generally very cool guy) mentioning that I'd be more than happy to work with Lindows to develop a distinctive and professional GUI widget style for them but I haven't heard anything back yet.

[04:44] | [] | # | G